


The Reckless and The Brave

by styleslaurent



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styleslaurent/pseuds/styleslaurent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Zayn spend a week at the beach and end up getting more than they asked for. Featuring a first kiss, new feelings and a very special star.</p><p>(Written for the prompt: Louis is in love with his best friend and doesn't know how to tell him.. He makes up a scenario like "so zayn I have this friend who likes this person, how should he tell them?" Zayn knows it's about him, happy ending where they lay on the sandy beach at night and count stars. Zayn names one after Louis? pls)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Reckless and The Brave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [watchoutamore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchoutamore/gifts).



> A huge thank you to my lovely beta A. who made me enjoy writing this fic even more and gave me great feedback, another huge thank you to my friend N. who read my fic before anyone else and gave me the confidence I needed, and of course thank you watchoutamore for the very cute prompt. ♥

  
They have been friends ever since Zayn was six years old and a boy at least twice his age ruined his just-finished sand castle, and _another_ boy Zayn had never seen before came to the rescue.

It’s something they like to joke about quite often, even though it seems to be the other way around now that they’re older. Whenever Louis gets into trouble, Zayn is there to soften the blow. Whenever Louis gets grounded, Zayn will come over to help him with his homework. Or when Louis has a date with the prettiest girl in school, Zayn sends him supportive text messages and tells him what to do when she wants a kiss, or what Louis can talk about when awkward silences occur.

They have been best friends since Zayn was six and Louis was seven and now they’re eighteen and nineteen and spending the summer together before they both leave for different universities.

Louis has already been gone for a year but comes back whenever he can. Zayn has always considered going to the same university as Louis, but in the end he decided to go somewhere else, somewhere closer to home because he still gets a little homesick sometimes, no matter how embarrassing it is. It was a tough decision, because they’ve been inseparable since the moment they met and Louis going off to uni a year before has already been hard enough for the two of them. But after many drunk, late night conversations, Louis finally managed to convince his best friend that he needed to make a decision that was the best for _him_ , not one that was the best for Louis or their friendship. They’d visit each other whenever they could, Louis promised him that. Choosing a different uni would not change or ruin their friendship. So Zayn chose another university, one close enough that he could be home in less than two hours if he needed to be.

Zayn still worries about it sometimes. It’s stupid, he knows it is, but he just doesn’t think his life would bethe same if he somehow lost his best friend. It’s even more stupid because they still text every day and Louis calls him most nights. When Louis is low on money and can’t take the train home, they skype each other so Zayn can help him write his essays, or just to gossip about fit girls and funny things that have happened in one of their classes. It’s nice, but Zayn can’t help but wonder how much nicer it’d be if they could be flat mates and attend the same university, wait for each other after their classes and go grab a coffee before returning to their flat to revise.

“You’re overthinking again, aren’t you?” Louis asks suddenly, startling Zayn out of his thoughts.

They’re in Louis’ room, both sitting on his bed with their backs against the wall. On the floor are their bags, nearly done packing for the week they’ll be spending at the beach. Louis’ new stepdad, Dan, has a brother who owns a small house about five minutes away from the beach. Seeing as neither Zayn nor Louis have the money to go overseas like they did the summer before Louis left, Dan somehow managed to let them stay at the beach house for the week. Zayn is looking forward to it, even though by the end of the week they’ll only have a few days left before the university life starts.

They’ll find a way to make it work. Of course they will. The end of the summer does not mean, has never meant, the end of their friendship.

“I am,” Zayn confirms with a sigh. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes. Sometimes, thinking can be his biggest enemy. Louis knows.

It’s not long before he feels two arms wrap around his waist and pull him in. The best thing about Louis, he thinks, is that the other boy always knows what Zayn needs. Whether it’s a cuddle and complete silence, silly stories about his sisters to distract him or a crate of beer and a joint, Louis always knows. It’s one of the things Zayn misses the most when they’re apart.

“It’ll be fun, you know,” Louis murmurs. “University, I mean. You can finally focus on what you really love doing, yeah? And you’ll meet cool people. Not as cool as me, obviously.”

Zayn snorts but nods. “Obviously.”

“And it’s not like we’ll suddenly stop talking, y’know? We can skype more often if that’s what you want, do our assignments together. And if it gets too much for you, you’ll be home in less than two hours. Maybe we can both find a job somewhere, so we’ll always have money to visit each other. I promise it’ll be fine, babes.”

Zayn _knows_ Louis is right, but – but he’s not good at being alone. It was fine the last year of college, when Louis had already left, because he still had his friends in his year, friends who are now off to uni as well, but none of them will attend the same university as Zayn. He’ll be completely alone, no one to explore the campus with, no Louis to wait for him after his classes and be his guide like he did during Zayn’s first years of high school and college.

The fact that he’s not much of an outgoing person won’t help much, either. Where Louis is loud and loves being the center of attention, Zayn is quiet and a bit shy, especially in unfamiliar situations. They always bring out the best in each other, though. Zayn makes Louis more reserved when he needs to be and Louis helps Zayn be a little more confident. Now that he’ll be on his own without anyone to make him feel less embarrassed about putting himself out there, Zayn is not quite sure how he’s going to make himself feel comfortable and find friends as quickly as he did back in high school and college. When he still had Louis. God, he’s a bit pathetic, isn’t he? Being so dependent on his best friend and all.

“You’ll be fine,” Louis says, and he knows. Zayn _knows_ he’ll be fine. It’s just that Louis makes things easier and less scary.  
  
•

It’s the first night of their stay at the beach house and they’re drunk on a mix of coke and vodka. Zayn hates the taste of it but he loves that he’s finally stopped worrying.

Louis has basically been talking nonstop for two hours now. About his mum and Dan, about his sisters, about the class he hates the most, about the friends he’s made at uni and how none of them will ever compare to Zayn (it made his stomach feel all weird, but Zayn will never, ever admit that, no matter how drunk he gets) and about what Zayn absolutely can’t forget to bring with him when he finally leaves for university himself.

It’s nice, listening to Louis talk. It’s even nicer that when he does stop talking for a couple of seconds, he looks at Zayn, a drunk, lazy smile on his lips. They’ve only been at the house for a couple of hours, but Zayn knows that they both feel at home and like they could stay here for a long time. Longer than a week, that is.

“Zayn,” Louis slurs then, reaching out to pat his best friend’s cheek. “Zayn, I have a very important question.”

Zayn laughs, slaps the sticky fingers away from his cheek and sits up straighter, puts his cup down and reaches for a water bottle. It’s just another one of those things. When they get drunk, Zayn always makes sure to have water bottles near. He knows when to stop drinking, but Louis doesn’t. He remembers to drink water and slow down sometimes, but Louis just keeps going and going until he either passes out or throws up all over the bathroom. Or bedroom, once upon a time when it was only their second time getting drunk in Zayn’s small bedroom. It took a week for his room to not smell like puke anymore.

Louis gets extra clingy when he’s drunk, and instead of reaching for the water bottle in Zayn’s hands he just climbs into his lap, settles against his chest and lets Zayn bring the bottle to his lips. After a couple of gulps, Louis wipes his mouth and takes a deep breath.

“So, like… I have this friend, yeah? And he’s – they like someone. One of their friends.”

He stays silent for a moment, waits for Zayn to acknowledge he’s listening by a squeeze to his waist before continuing.

“They’re like. You know, really good friends. Best friends. Like us, you could say. And he’s, well, they like their friend so much, so fucking much, that sometimes it gets overwhelming. Right? Does that make sense? It does, doesn’t it.”

There’s absolutely no reason for Zayn to think Louis is talking about them. They’ve never really talked about their sexualities, about whether they like only girls or boys too or anything like that. Besides snogging once, back when Zayn was fifteen and insecure about his skills, it has never been a thing for them, never been something to wonder and whisper about. They talk about fit girls and that’s it. Gone on dates with girls as well. Zayn knows there’s more to it than just that, that sexuality isn’t black or white, but - but there’s absolutely no reason for Zayn’s cheeks to heat up and for his heart to beat a little faster. There isn’t, except that what Louis is saying, the way he’s describing it, makes Zayn think of himself. About how he feels about his best friend. It’s one of his deepest, darkest secrets, something he probably won’t ever share with anyone. Most of the time he even refuses to admit it to himself.

“Zayn, listen, are you listening? How should he tell them? Should he like…” Louis stays quiet and Zayn knows, just _knows_ , that he’s scrunching up his eyebrows and trying to think of the right words.

“He should just tell them and see what happens?” Zayn offers, but Louis shakes his head wildly.

“They’re best friends, Zee. Wouldn’t that, like, fuck everything up? Be weird? Ruin things? Oh god, it would, wouldn’t it?”

Now it’s time for Zayn to shake his head, but then he remembers Louis still has his back pressed against his chest and he pushes the boy away gently. Louis turns around, looks at his best friend with big eyes full of worry and Zayn’s stomach feels weird again. He should be used to it by now, really, since it’s something that started nearly three years ago. But that was before Louis started talking about someone liking their best friend, before Zayn realised that what he felt was indeed a little bit more than just friendship. It’s confusing and he’s drunk and Louis isn’t making sense and Zayn is worrying again.

He can’t possibly have real feelings for Louis, can he? It can’t be more than just a silly crush because they’re such good friends, right? And even if he does have real, serious feelings for the other boy, it can’t be possible that Louis is talking about himself, which would mean that he feels exactly the same for Zayn. Things like that don’t happen, not to them. It happens in books and movies and Zayn’s life isn’t like a book or movie at all. It’s messy, far from perfect and he just can’t be lucky enough to have found his soulmate in his best friend. He refuses to believe it but secretly, quietly, wishes it was true.

“Maybe,” Zayn starts, tilting his head to the side as he carefully watches his best friend. There are six days left to find out what his feelings mean and how Louis feels about him in return. Six days to figure out if they can be more than best friends. Of course there’s time when they’re both at uni, when they meet up during the holidays, but Zayn would like to find out before then. Before Louis meets a pretty girl who lets him get her drunk and fuck her on his small dorm bed. Before he misses his chance.  
  
“Maybe he should just, like, hint at it. Y’know, flirt a little. See how they react to that, yeah? If they really are best friends, like us, I don’t think it’ll change anything. I mean, yeah, they might start dating, dunno, but no bad things. Happy ending.”

Louis brightens up at that. He doesn’t look so worried anymore and snuggles back into Zayn after taking another sip of the water.

“You’re the best, Zee,” he sighs, but before Zayn can reply he’s passed out, eyes shut and breathing slowing down.

Zayn falls asleep not long after that, cheeks still tinted a light pink and a happy smile on his face. He’ll just have to wait and see how Louis starts acting the next few days, if he’ll behave differently. Maybe even flirt a little himself, too. It’ll be fine. They’re best friends, maybe even potentially more, and they’ll always have each other no matter what.

It has been kind of a strange day, going from best friends to wondering if they like each other, but it’s alright. They’ll figure something out, no matter how they feel about each other. Zayn hopes that when he wakes up in the morning he’s more convinced of that.  
  
•

It’s the third day and Louis’ behaviour has indeed changed. It wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else, but of course it is to Zayn. He notices all the extra pet names, the compliments, the lingering touches. He notices how Louis sits closer to him, how they’ve started spooning during the night, how Louis thanks him at least three times when Zayn helps him with something.

It all started the morning after Louis’ question, really, on their second day at the beach house. The water had helped, and so had Zayn’s breakfast of greasy eggs on toast and a strong cup of tea and Louis just wouldn’t stop thanking for him, kept saying how good of a best friend Zayn was and that he’d be lost without him. Louis even went as far as running a bath for him because Zayn’s back hurt so much from their strange sleeping position. He barely complained about his headache, cleaned up all the cups and cans and the bottle and the sticky coke and vodka mix from the bedroom floor without Zayn asking him to. It was strange but good, and Louis wasn’t the only one who did nothing but smile all day. If he was honest, it was _definitely_ a feeling Zayn could get used to.

They’re on the beach now, out for a walk because it’s nice and sunny and even though it had rained only one day out of the three, it was a welcome change.

“We should go swimming,” Louis says with a grin. Swimming for them means Louis disappearing under the waves and Zayn standing with just his feet in the water, wishing his best friend would just come up for air already.

The water isn’t too cold. The weather has been nice enough if they ignore the rain and in the distance they can see children playing in the water, chasing the waves and enjoying themselves like only children can. Zayn gets jealous of them sometimes, of how his and Louis’ younger sisters can do whatever they want without any embarrassment. It’s obviously been a while since he felt like that, as he’s eighteen now, but the way Louis makes him feel comes pretty close. So he shrugs and nods, and Louis lets out a bright laugh before running closer to the water, shedding pieces of clothing as he does so.

They were prepared, both wearing swimming shorts with just a tank top and a cardigan thrown on a moment before they left, in case the wind was still too strong. Zayn follows the other boy but not as fast, instead takes his time to observe Louis. In the past few days, something has definitely changed between them. It’s as if something in the air has shifted. He’s always been fond of his best friend, has never pretended he was too cool to say “I love you”, but it’s different now. It _feels_ different. More serious, more mature. As if they’ve really let their past behind now and are ready for something new and bigger.

Louis is already knee-deep into the water when Zayn reaches the shore line. There’s no use for him to take off his clothes as he won’t be swimming, and he’s barefoot anyway, so he just stands there and lets the waves tickle his feet. He enjoys it, enjoys watching Louis, who’s laughing and yelling and keeps looking at Zayn as if to make sure he’s still there, still watching. Zayn smiles and waves at him before wading a little deeper.

Even though the water isn’t that cold, he already knows the other boy will complain when the fun is over, when the wind wins from the sun and cools Louis’ body more than the sun will be able to warm it up. But it’s alright, because they always save each other, and Zayn was sure to put a big, fluffy towel in the bag they brought, filled with sandwiches and chocolate bars, so they could have a picnic somewhere on the beach. Sometimes it feels like they’re already a married couple, but Zayn doesn’t mind. And, if Louis’ behaviour is anything to go by, he doesn’t mind either.

They spend hours at the beach. When Louis is done swimming and indeed complains about how cold the wind is on his wet body, Zayn gives him the blanket and they find a spot a bit further up. They watch the waves, the children playing, the seagulls above their heads and, when the other isn’t looking, each other. While doing so they finish the sandwiches and share a chocolate bar. They make plans for the night, deciding they’ll make taco’s and watch some movies. Not once does Louis mention his friend, if it even was a friend at all, and Zayn doesn’t worry. He feels good, feels happy, and going off for uni doesn’t even sound so scary anymore.

When after a while Louis reaches for another chocolate bar at the same time Zayn does and their hands touch, they both look up with a silly smile on their faces and bright red cheeks.  
  
•

On the fourth day, Zayn wakes up to the smell of freshly baked bread and a soft kiss to his forehead. Louis clearly didn’t expect him to wake up from it because he blushes a deep red, mumbles a quick “good morning” and disappears out of the room again, knowing Zayn will follow him.

Zayn takes a moment to himself to take it all in and he can’t deny that he’s smiling big enough for his cheeks to hurt.

After a couple of moments, Zayn walks into the little kitchen. Louis is at the counter, getting their tea ready and he turns around when he hears Zayn move a chair to sit down. They smile at each other and Zayn gestures towards the bowl of fresh bread that’s on the table in front of him, his eyebrows raised in question.

“Turns out there was a bakery just a minute away from the grocery store, figured fresh bread would be better than boring, sliced ones from the grocer,” Louis explains, setting a hot, steaming mug of tea in front of Zayn and sitting down on the chair opposite him.

Zayn nods and hums appreciatively. They haven’t made any plans for the day yet. The other days they’d just decided to see what the weather would be like and did whatever they felt like doing, which was mostly just relaxing and going to the beach. The second day had been spent inside, watching movies on the small TV in the living room and discussing their favourite super heroes, but today is another nice, warm day. Louis opened one of the windows and there’s a light breeze coming through but the sun is bright and strong, making it a perfect summer day.

They eat their breakfast quietly, just smiling at each other and sending a few quick texts to their families, telling them that yes, they’re having fun and yes, they’re eating well and no, they’re not trashing the place. Louis shows him a picture of his two youngest sisters wearing his clothes for some reason and they both laugh a little too loudly.

They discuss what they want to do on this day and it doesn’t take long for them to decide that they’ll just spend another day on the beach with food, a good book for Zayn, and each other’s company. Louis says that he wants to have a campfire at night, which is a pretty good idea in Zayn’s opinion, so they decide to first spend a couple of hours on the beach, and then walk to the small village center to get some more food and the stuff they need to build a campfire. There’s not much to do in the town, as it’s pretty small and not one of the places that gets visited by hundreds of tourists as soon as the sun decides to make an appearance. They don’t mind, though. They have each other and that’s all they need, really.  
  
•

Hours later, when their bellies are full and the fire is burning, Louis brings it up again.

“You remember that friend I asked you about on our first night here?”

Zayn nearly chokes on his coke and nods.

“Right, I texted him, you know? Told him about what you said,” Louis says, and it’s as if he’s nervous, struggling to get the words out despite having only had one beer so far.

Zayn understands how he feels.

“I’ve like – he’s been flirting a bit, you know, trying to get a reaction, yeah? Nothing too obvious but he’s – it’s been nice? He thought it was nice. He thinks it might be mutual.”

Louis still looks nervous, but as soon as he sees that Zayn is smiling, he starts smiling too. Zayn wonders if Louis knows, if Louis has figured out that he knows they’re talking about themselves. It’s okay though, for now. They don’t have to jump into anything. For now, they can just enjoy this phase of flirting and figuring out what it means, what exactly it is that they are feeling for each other.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Zayn questions, turning back to the fire and watching the flames. From the corner of his eye he sees Louis nodding.

“Very good,” the other boy confirms, and then they’re both silent.

They still have a lot to figure out. Of course Zayn can’t be sure that Louis is talking about them unless he asks, but they’ve known each other for so long that he’s not really worrying about any other possibilities. By now, he thinks he knows Louis better than he knows himself and vice versa. And even if Louis is talking about someone else, Zayn can’t deny that something has changed between them. He hasn’t really thought about it much, afraid he’ll confuse himself, but there have been dreams. Dreams where he woke up to Louis’ lips not on his forehead but on his own lips, dreams of kissing him goodnight and dreams of them jumping into each other’s arms at a train station when they finally see each other again after spending months apart. Those dreams have caused Zayn to wake up happier than ever. He’s completely stopped worrying about going off for uni, knowing that they’ll figure it out. They won’t lose each other, no matter what happens between them. Zayn can’t wait to find out.

After another hour of sitting by the fire, Louis starts getting tired. Zayn notices it in the way he’s moved closer so he can rest his head on Zayn’s shoulder. He starts replying less, instead letting Zayn do the talking and it’s not long before his eyes stay closed just a little longer every time he blinks.

“Go to sleep, babe,” Zayn mumbles, pressing a kiss to his best friend’s hair. “I’ll take care of the fire, yeah? You get ready and go to bed, I’ll join you in a couple of minutes.”

Louis smiles gratefully and gets up, stretching out his limbs before leaning down to kiss Zayn’s cheek.

“You better hurry up, m’gonna miss the heat of the fire and you’ll have to make up for it by being my big spoon tonight.”

With those words, Louis disappears, leaving Zayn behind with a warm feeling in his chest that is most definitely not caused by the bonfire.  
  
•

Two days later, when they have only two full days left before Dan comes to pick them up the next morning, there’s no doubt in Zayn’s mind anymore that Louis really was talking about them and not some anonymous friend from uni.

They’d gotten drunk again on the fifth night, and somehow it made Louis confess a couple of things. First, that he’s always thought Zayn was the prettiest boy he’d ever seen. Second, that maybe he doesn’t like just girls. Or girls at all. That yeah, maybe he liked those couple of dates he went on back in high school. He liked snogging Hannah on their second date, in the back row of a movie theatre, because she smelled nice and was kind to him. But it wasn’t spectacular. He never felt butterflies in his stomach while holding hands with girls or when he complimented them and they blushed. He never felt fireworks while kissing Hannah. It was alright, but nothing worth thinking of.

Boys, though. When Louis thought of kissing boys, he did feel different. That did make his stomach feel all weird and silly, as Louis described it himself. Zayn nodded, agreed, and Louis showed him his brightest smile. They changed the subject to something innocent, something far less interesting, but before Zayn could fall asleep about an hour later, he heard Louis whisper that he did feel those butterflies when he snogged Zayn all those years ago. Zayn didn’t have the guts to open his eyes, to let Louis know he was still awake and that he felt those butterflies too, back then.

Zayn has been thinking about it through all of breakfast. This time it was him getting up early to take a walk to the bakery, coming back with fresh bread and even a chocolate muffin for Louis. It was a bit pricey, but the way Louis’ eyes lit up when he saw the muffin on his plate was enough for Zayn to forget about the price.

“I want to go surfing today,” Louis announces once he finishes his breakfast. The weather is good again. It hasn’t rained since their second day but there’s a strong wind once again, causing waves that are perfect for surfing. On their walk yesterday, they spotted a small café that had surfboards hanging on the walls. When the owner saw Louis looking at them, he told them his son would be able to teach them how to surf, if they wanted to.

“Alright,” Zayn smiles. He’ll just sit on the beach again, bring some food and another book and watch Louis. Even if he could swim, he probably wouldn’t be good at surfing anyway.

“If you don’t mind, of course,” Louis adds, almost a little shyly. “I mean, we’re here together and I know you can’t really swim, so it’s a bit rude of me to just – “

“I don’t mind,” Zayn says, cutting him off before Louis can start apologising. “Honestly, I know you’ve always wanted to try it. I’ll wait for you on the beach. Take a nap, maybe. It’s okay. It’s not like you’ll be gone for hours anyway, right?”

“Yeah,” the other boy replies with a sigh. “Okay. Thank you, Zee. You really are the best, I hope you know that.”

Zayn smiles and starts cleaning up the table and kitchen while Louis packs their stuff. It’s a nice routine they have. At home their rooms are a mess and they avoid cleaning whenever they can, but here, they don’t really mind. Before they left they talked about it with Dan’s friend, and if they managed to keep it clean and not break anything, they wouldn’t have to pay for their stay. Besides, it’s not like it takes very long. The faster they clean up and throw away their trash, the more time they have for watching movies or going to the beach.

Not long after that, Louis is on a surf board riding the waves, his teacher doing the same and Zayn is sitting on a blanket, munching on a cinnamon bun that was left from their breakfast. He’s already snapped a couple of pictures of Louis on his surfboard to send to their families, but if he’s being completely honest, Zayn also took them for himself. Louis looks ridiculously good. After being in the sun for only a couple of days he already has an impressive tan, and the sun reflecting on the drops of water on his chest make him look like some kind of model. Zayn can’t stop watching. When Louis falls off he laughs, when he succeeds in riding another wave he claps, and when Louis looks at him with a happy smile, he waves. Zayn realises he really would not mind being able to introduce Louis as his boyfriend instead of as his best friend in the very near future.  
  
•

It’s the night before they’re being picked up by Dan and neither boy wants to go home so soon.

They found a quiet, secluded part on the beach, and filled a cool box with bottles of beer and cans of coke and some left over pizza from the day before. They brought blankets and pillows for the both of them and big towels to sleep on, fully intending to spend most of the night on the beach, talking and listening to the waves and watching the stars. Even though it’s their last night and they already spent most of their little holiday relaxing on the beach and not doing much else, both of them thought it’d be the perfect end to the week.

Louis spreads out the towels and blankets when they arrive at the absolute perfect spot. It’s far enough from the water to not get themselves wet, but close enough to still hear and see the waves. It’s a bit further than where they usually go, past the beach bars, where most of the tourists don’t bother coming. The day had been warm and so is the night, but just to be sure they’re both wearing a jumper and a jacket. They’re not planning on making a fire tonight but they’ve always got each other, if the weather decides to cool down some more.  

Their bellies are still full from the fish and chips they had for dinner, but Louis insisted on bringing the four slices of pizza anyway. The amount of beer they’ve had in the past week would be sickening to anyone else, but it’s a holiday, _their_ holiday, and they’ll drink as much as they want. Before they left though, Zayn made sure to slip a few water bottles into the cooler box, just in case Louis drinks a little too much beer and starts feeling sick again. It’s a thing they do, and Zayn is used to it by now. He takes care of Louis as much as he can.

“It’s nice here,” Louis comments as he sits down, looking around again.

Zayn nods, a happy smile on his face. If Louis asked him if they could stay at the beach forever, he’d say yes. And, if Zayn would be the one to ask that question, he’s sure Louis would say yes too.  
  
•

After a couple of hours filled with talking and drinking beer, the two boys decide it’s time to watch the stars.

It’s two in the morning, the other tourists that were having a bonfire in the distance have left, and they’re both starting to get a bit tired. Neither of them wants to sleep yet, though, because going to sleep means the morning will only come sooner.

One night, a couple of years ago, Louis had told Zayn he absolutely loved watching the stars. It calms him down, makes him realise that the universe is so much bigger than his little world full of deadlines and pointless arguments. Ever since then, when things get too tough for them to handle, they sneak out in the middle of the night to watch the stars. Sometimes they climb out of Zayn’s window and onto the roof, other times they run to the park and lie on the grass, ignoring how their shirts get damp and their limbs cold.

It always brings Louis into a state of seriousness that is unusual for him. It makes him confess his deepest, darkest secrets and fears, makes him show a side to Zayn that other people never get to see.

Maybe that’s why Zayn has grown fond of the stars, too.

It’s the same, now, too. Louis has gone from talking about university to talking about his sisters, from his future to his mother and now he’s on the topic of love. Zayn is glad that Louis is too focused on the stars to even look at him, because there’s this permanent blush on his cheeks he can’t seem to get rid of no matter what he tries. It’s just – Louis is talking about _love_ and what he’s looking for in a partner and it all sounds so much like what they have, only more intense, more serious, and Zayn is so sure he’s in love with his best friend.

He’s in love with his best friend and he wants to be everything Louis needs.

And he knows Louis is in love with him, too.

At this point, Zayn has no idea how he could have ever thought that maybe Louis wasn’t talking about him and was indeed asking about advice for his friend.

They’ve been so much closer, almost like a married couple, and Zayn’s been enjoying it. He enjoys the fond smiles, the hand holding, the quick touches to his shoulder, to his waist and his back. He enjoys the spooning and the cuddles, he enjoys the soft voice Louis uses when he wakes him up, he enjoys taking care of his best friend and he enjoys seeing the smile on Louis’ face when he agrees to do something when Louis asks him. Zayn knows that if his sisters were there with them they’d call them disgustingly adorable, and even the thought of that makes him smile. He’s so far gone for this boy.

“The brightest stars are my favourites,” Louis whispers sleepily after a few minutes of complete silence. “I mean – the small ones are cute, yes? Baby stars.”

He’s slightly tipsy, just enough to make him say silly things. Zayn is _so_ in love with him.

“But the bright stars are like – y’know, the one? That one star you see all the time, whether you’re in England in your garden or out partying in Spain? I think that’s, like, really comforting.”

Zayn hums, agreeing, and shifts a little closer until his hand is resting comfortably against Louis’ hand. It feels more than natural when, after a couple of seconds, Louis links their fingers together.

“Just the idea that no matter where you are, there’s always something that reminds you of home. Of the people you love most.”

“Yeah,” Zayn manages to say, even though his throat suddenly feels dry.

He almost misses it when Louis continues.

“Reminds me of you when I’m gone for uni.”

As if he’s been shocked, Zayn sits up. If his throat didn’t feel dry before, it definitely does now. He looks down at the boy beside him, whose cheeks are visibly red even in the pale moon light, looking more beautiful than ever. He’s not looking at Zayn, still gazing up at the sky and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Zayn knows he’s nervous. He knows that Louis knows what’s about to come.

Without giving it a second thought, Zayn leans down, ignoring the uncomfortable position as he hovers above his best friend. Louis is looking at him now, mouth slightly opened and breath coming out quickly, cheeks still tinted red. There are a million thoughts running through Zayn’s mind, but somehow they all relate to one and the same thing.

Kissing Louis.

And so he does.

He closes the small distance between them, a gentle pressure against Louis’ lips, and it takes the other boy a moment to respond. It’s soft and sweet and better than it was in Zayn’s dreams and he already never wants to stop kissing Louis. It feels right, like this is what they’re meant to be doing, like this is why fate made them become best friends, or something cheesy like that. He wants to pull away, wants to speak these thoughts out loud and hear what Louis has to say about them, but then there’s a hand on his cheek and Louis’ teeth are nipping his bottom lip gently and Zayn stops thinking.

They kiss for what seems to be hours.

It stays slow and sweet, heats up a couple of times but always goes back to gentle, and Zayn absolutely loves it. Judging by the soft sounds Louis is making, he’s not the only one.

He’s shifted closer, changed the angle so both his forearms are on either side of Louis’ head, knees pressed against either side of his hips. Louis’ hands are on his face, cupping his cheeks ever so gently, thumbs stroking over cheekbones.

There’s a buzzing in his veins, almost as if the galaxy moved itself to be under Zayn’s skin, the stars threatening to burst through, out in the open, and he has never been more thankful to have Louis in his life than he is in that moment.  
  
•

When they finally stop kissing (though Zayn could have gone on for another few hours) and Louis shyly admits that he’s really tired, Zayn takes him into his arms.

It’s not long until Louis’ breathing slows down and falls asleep. Zayn, on the other hand, is having trouble sleeping. He can still feel a pair of lips on his own, can still feel Louis’ fingers ghosting along his cheekbones, can still feel the butterflies in his stomach. He presses a soft kiss to the other boy’s forehead and pulls him a little closer against his chest. They haven’t talked about it yet, have literally kissed and kissed until they were too tired for it, but Zayn isn’t worrying. He was right when he told himself they’d be fine.

After a couple of minutes, when he is sure that Louis is in a deep sleep, he looks up at the sky again. His eyes immediately find the star that Louis assigned as his favourite, the brightest one you will see no matter where you are. They’d attempted to count the stars multiple times, but always came back to that one. Just like how Zayn and Louis always get back to each other.

“Lou?” Zayn whispers, his gaze not moving away from that one star. “It’s you, isn’t it, the one I always come back to. It’s always been you and always will be you. You’re like – you’re not just a star to me, my star, you’re my whole galaxy. It’s so fucking cheesy but it’s so fucking true and I – I always think of you when I see it, too.” He pauses and takes a deep, steadying breath. When he speaks again, he can hear that his voice has gotten even quieter, shaking slightly. “I _love_ you.”

Because he’s still gazing up at the sky, vision slightly clouded by the tears of happiness in his eyes, Zayn doesn’t see the answering smile on Louis’ face.  
  
•

They keep returning to the beach house every summer after the first year.

Every summer, they rent the house on the beach for a week, sometimes two if they’ve saved up enough money. They spend their days doing whatever they feel like doing, just like the first time. Louis teaches Zayn how to swim and Zayn recommends his favourite books to Louis, who’s decided he wants to give reading another try. Zayn succeeds, but Louis reads only a couple of pages of each book before it disappears under the bed or in his bedside table. They go surfing again, Louis facing even the biggest waves and Zayn just paddling around a bit, trying his hardest not to fall off. He thinks the water is still a little scary.

They start bonfires again, stay up until the early morning drinking beer and eating crisps, talking about whatever topic they can think of. They kiss, spoon, cuddle, fuck; everything they’re now finally able to do, being a real, official couple and all that. Zayn still sort of rescues Louis, whenever he’s still too sleepy to walk up to the bakery in the morning, when he’s too tired after two wild rounds of some of the best sex they’ve ever had to go and get a wet flannel, whenever he has a cold from one particularly cold summer and Zayn refuses to kiss him until his nose is less runny.

They keep returning to the beach house every summer and fall deeper and deeper in love with every passing day.  
  
•

It happens in their third year of being together, after Louis has finished uni and Zayn is going for his last year after the summer. Louis has no idea what he wants to do yet, wants to just relax for a couple months now that he’s finally done studying and taking exams. It’s fine, because it’s his own life and he can do whatever he wants, but Zayn doesn’t like that Louis tries to drag him along with it.

“I still have to graduate, you know,” he says grumpily, taking some of the sand in his hand and letting it fall again. They’d been silent for a while, the weight of all the words they said to each other still hanging in the air.

“You can actually take a year off, _you know_ ,” Louis says back, mockingly, and that’s when Zayn loses it. He gets up, staring down at his boyfriend with a frustrated look on his face.

“I _can’t_ , though, don’t you understand? I can’t just take a year off, especially not my last year, and just mess around with my future for a couple of months just because your childish, lazy ass can’t figure out what to do just yet. I can’t throw away my entire future to travel and party with my boyfriend who refuses to admit he’s not a sixteen-year-old teenager anymore.”

Louis gets up too, then, frowning as he wipes the sand off of his jeans.

“You think I’m childish?”

Zayn takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Sometimes you are.”

“Right.”

The silence that follows feels strange, not right at all. They rarely ever fight. Before they got together, they’ve fought only a handful of times, and only one or two of those were actually serious. And this, this is their first serious fight _after_ getting together. They’ve had arguments before, sure, squabbling over pointless things that were forgotten about three minutes later when Louis pushed Zayn against a wall and kissed him hungrily. Somehow, this fight feels different.

It’s nothing they can’t fix with whispered explanations and soft kisses, but Zayn hates it nonetheless. He likes that Louis is so carefree and barely ever worries; he loves that Louis can still act like they’re two young boys, silly and in love, but sometimes Zayn needs him to understand that they’re _older_ now. It’s serious business. He can’t allow himself to take a year off and spend all of his nights partying. He needs to take his last year even more seriously than the previous ones, needs to focus and study and pass his exams so he can graduate. They’ve discussed it many times, that after Zayn’s graduation they’ll look for a place together, a small, cheap flat they can move into until they’ve both made enough money to buy something bigger. Zayn doesn’t understand why Louis is so insistent on changing their plans now.

“I’m going to - go,” Louis says finally and Zayn hates how his voice shakes.

Without saying another word, Louis walks away from him, heading away from the small beach house where they’re staying once again. Even though it’s hard not to, Zayn doesn’t follow him. He knows his boyfriend well enough to realise that giving him space is the best thing to do at the moment. Instead, he walks off in the opposite direction, back to the beach house. They’ll talk about it later, he knows they will, but there’s a knot in his stomach he wishes wasn’t there.

It’s not until two hours later that Louis finally returns. While he was out it had started raining, and Zayn scrambles up from where he’s sitting on the couch to get him a big towel and a set of dry clothes. He hands them over wordlessly and Louis nods, silently taking off his wet clothes and replacing them with the dry ones. As Zayn sits back down, Louis dries his hair with the towel, brings his wet clothes to the bathroom and then comes to sit next to him. They both stay silent for a couple of minutes before Louis sighs.

“I understand that taking a year off is easier said than done.”

Zayn closes the book he’d been reading and puts it on the coffee table before turning to his boyfriend, legs tucked under his body.

“I’m just scared, yeah?” Louis says, a blush colouring his cheeks. “I mean – of course uni was hard work, too, sometimes, but this - this is the real deal, you know? Now I really have to achieve something. There are no exams that I can just retake anymore and that’s – it fucking terrifies me. I’m not ready to get thrown into the deep, to find a job that is so easy to lose because what if I’m not good enough, what if I’m not smart enough, what if I – “

Before Louis can continue, Zayn shushes him gently, two fingers to his lips. Then he moves onto his boyfriend’s lap, wraps his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist.

“You _are_ smart enough,” Zayn whispers. “You _are_ good enough. It won’t be some random job, it’ll be something you _enjoy_ doing, something you have knowledge of. You’re not gonna start at the highest position, babe, where mistakes aren’t allowed. You’ll start easy, make mistakes, yeah, and you’ll learn from them. You’ll continue to grow and become smarter, better at what you do. There’s no need for you to worry and you’ll always have me, yeah? You’ll always have me to come home to.”

Louis sniffles but nods.

“You’re so much smarter than you think you are, so much _braver_ than you think you are. You can do it. I know you can. You’re gonna go out there and people are going to absolutely love you. How can they not? You’re funny and charming and gorgeous. You know how to talk to people and how to make them laugh. You’re smart. I promise they will love you. It’ll be a lot harder for them to _not_ love you, trust me on this.”

“I love _you_ ,” Louis whispers, smiling as he drops his forehead against Zayn’s. His fingers twist in Zayn’s shirt as he takes a deep breath and adds, “And I want to marry you.”  
  
•

Louis ends up marrying him, of course he does.

Years later, after they’ve both graduated from uni and moved into a cute, cozy house just outside of London, Zayn proposes on the exact beach where they had their first, official kiss. They’ve been best friends since the day they met and nothing is going to change that anytime soon. And the beach is a great place for first times and making things official, really.  
  
•

For their first anniversary, Louis finally tells Zayn he was awake when Zayn confessed his love for him.

At first Zayn is embarrassed and slightly annoyed that Louis had never told him before, but when Louis presses him against a wall and kisses him until their lips are swollen, then carries him to the bedroom and fucks him into the mattress, the annoyance is long forgotten.

But the embarrassment isn’t forgotten until Louis slides him a certificate after their fancy celebratory dinner.

“It’s nothing big,” Louis says, slightly nervous as he watches Zayn read the paper. “But I found this company where you can adopt, like, a star, yeah? God, this is so cheesy.”

Zayn looks up at him, eyes watery just like they were when Zayn confessed his love for this beautiful man.

“It’s a certificate for a binary star that I named after us. A binary star is made up of two stars orbiting around each other and I thought –“

Before Louis can even finish his sentence, his husband is on his lap and his lips are otherwise preoccupied.

They’ll be fine.

They _are_ fine.

Always have been, always will be.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this: thank you! This is the first fic I've ever published so I was very nervous to do so, hopefully it didn't disappoint. Please feel free to leave a comment and if you have any tips or criticism then those are 100% welcome too. :)


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